The U.S. House of Representatives is going to vote on whether or not to issue a nonbinding resolution criticizing President George W. Bush for his handling of the war in Iraq.

It’s been the main headline in political news for a bit. Sort of a weird idea that after the new Democratic Congress accomplished a laundry list of tasks in its first “100 hours,” the central point of business would be to pass a bill that explicitly does nothing. There’s a small chance, though, that it’d clear the way for some anti-war legislation with teeth.

At any rate, it’s inspired me to come up with some of my own nonbinding resolutions. Here we are (and of course, vote with me if you’re in):

1. Nonbinding resolution against really long voicemail messages. They’re never important and you always know that when you’re leaving them, which I know because you say over and over again, “sorry for the long message,” which is really counterproductive.
2. Nonbinding resolution against my computer screen at work being completely visible to anyone standing anywhere in the office.
3. Nonbinding resolution against leftovers not tasting as good as dinner two nights ago.
4. Nonbinding resolution against pickles because I really hate pickles. Especially stealth pickles under hamburger buns.
5. Nonbinding resolution against bondage, but just because I think it’s kind of ironic. Also, its proponents would be more turned on that way anyhow. “Oh, really? Congress doesn’t want me to do this? I’m so naughty. Don’t tell Jack Murtha. Don’t tell him, really! Unless you think it’ll make him angry. I do so like Jack Murtha angry….” This is actually also the way that I think President Bush will react to the resolution.

Further ideas…?