After the Oscar win, talk is swirling about Al Gore runing for President.

Rumor has it, Gore’s actually just working on a movie about the presidency, specifically the Abraham Lincoln administration, it’s going to be called “An Inconvenient Booth.”

His camp says that not even today’s Republicans will try to refute the hour and a half of evidence he’ll provide, and I say, you know, don’t count your chickens.

Madame Tussaud’s is opening a wax museum in Washington, D.C., soon.

They’ll have all the presidents, Lincoln, Clinton, Cheney.

Museum operators say that each wax figure takes three to six months to make and costs $125,000, which is way cheaper than actual politicians.

I guess the war’s driving the prices up, I don’t know. All those expensive tanks and jets. Not too long ago you could get a politician to listen to you for just the price of a Hummer.

Elizabeth Hurley just got married.

You know her from “Austin Powers” and Estee Lauder cosmetics ads. Yeah, all the ambitious young men who grew up watching her in “Austin Powers” have tears in their beers tonight. Not tears of joy or of pride, no, those tears are being shed by all the ambitious young men who grew up using Estee Lauder cosmetics.

Hurley and her groom have sold exclusive image rights of the wedding to Hello! magazine for a ton of money. I’ve been trying to sell the image rights to various important events in my life, but I can’t get Hello! to return my calls, so I’m going to settle for this guy who takes the before pictures for protein shakes. Only catch is, I have to do everything wearing just shorts and then I have to do it twice — once head-on and once in profile.

There’s going to be a total lunar eclipse this evening.

Scientists say that the eclipse will be most visible from the Middle East, which means President Bush is going to interpret it as a sign from the beyond to do something, we just don’t know what. Nuclear war with Iran? Nuclear war with the moon? Hard to say.

Jerry Falwell was of course quick to remind Bush that the moon is a myth — only a theory. We’re not sure it’s up there, we’re not sure who put it there if it is. Unless Bush is willing to change the Constitution again, in which case, yeah, it’s up there, the terrorists put it up there and, tides be damned, we’re going to have to take it right back down.