Hey, I’m just starting to get the hang of this New York thing, so the jokes will come a-flying your way once more quite soon. Meantime, here is a video that some friends in a comedy troupe called Better Than The Machine made using techniques, evidently, from the future.
Yet another video! Thanks to BCB for uploading this thing from faaar away in Boulder. Also, now that we’ve broken the seal and sometimes put stuff from the live show on the Internet, he’s apparently uncovered an old bit or two. So that’s exciting.
A woman known as “the Egyptian Dr. Ruth” is now so popular in the Arab world that she has speaking engagements booked a quarter of a year in advance to talk about sex. She tells her audiences that the Quran encourages more frequent sex, which is a great idea since telling people to do what religious texts say has been improving society pretty much without any hitches for like thousands of years.
Her sex talks have been met with some criticism though, particularly the parts where she says that the Quran also promotes foreplay. In response, religious leaders have claimed to have uncovered an ancient, previously unknown chapter of the Quran all about blowjobs.
Today Stephen Hawking went weightless in a plane over Florida in an attempt to further show off that he is the world’s most sciencey science guy. Come on, the guy’s a genius and he weighs nothing? Can he please just be fat or have some kind of flaw that makes it worth not being Stephen Hawking? Anything? Anything at all?
OK, I’ve only been here for a little under a week, but I think it’s fair for me to start making sweeping generalizations about New York. This is an abridged list of ways in which living in New York is like living inside of Coors Field, home of the Colorado Rockies, a Major League Baseball team.
1. A lot of hot dog stands.
2. A single beer can cost $10.
3. They mostly sell imports and would like you to believe that Coors is the only beer from Colorado.
4. Sometimes it smells like pee.
5. Nobody cares about the Rockies.
Here’s a video about something very important.
Angry conservative Indians have charged Richard Gere with obscenity after the dapper actor kissed Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS awareness event over the weekend.
Jeez, Richard Gere, who do you think you are–Al and Tipper Gore? You’re not. You’re just one guy, so you can’t be both of them. And don’t even think you’re fooling us into thinking you’re Al Gore by also not running for president.
Somehow I get the feeling that Gere’s going to go crazy on the tight-lipped, squinty smile thing, charm and marry all of the various angry Hindus and be charged with bigamy. Then, in act three, he’ll sort it all out to some Louis Armstrong by buying flowers and doing two years in Indian prison.
(Note to high-powered literary agents reading my blog: you know you want this screenplay, “The Geres of Love” and the Indian prison sequel, “The Geres of War,” in which our hero, hardened ex-con R. Gere, singlehandedly takes back an island prison. So come and get ‘em. The screenplays are right here, calling to you lustily. From my pants. Not the pants I’m wearing, because that would be weird. They’re in another pair of pants that I’m carrying around because my satchel is all full. Of lovemaking paraphernalia for making sex.)
In the Phillippines, a guy named Agakhan Sharief is running for office and using a clever nickname to help people remember him. See, he’s a Muslim with a beard and a head scarf, so he’s going by the name “Bin Laden” or “the young Osama of Mindanao.” All of his posters say his real name in small letters and in big, red letters, “BIN LADEN.”
It’s basically the same tactic that Republicans used from 2001-2006, just throwing the name BIN LADEN around all willy-nilly in scary fonts to get votes.
But I think it’s going to catch on. I think all kinds of people are going to start using memorable nicknames to get elected. We could soon have an election between “Bin Laden” and “Kim Jong Il.” And then other marketing folks will totally go for it. Hitler ice cream. That kind of stuff.
My flight is delayed, so I have time to post one more review of the show at Albums. This one’s a little angrier than most, and it’s called “Dave Burdick turns his back on Boulder,” which is obviously true because I am a bastard.
Another Secret Circus video–holy crap, that’s two in just one week now–is on YouTube. This one is exciting because it finally proves, to some extent, that we are a live show. It’s five minutes of a 20-minute set we did at CU-Boulder on April 6, 2007. Elisha and I do a bunch of this duo stand-up at the beginning of most shows. We tend to do a bunch of joking around between acts as well. Check this out and then get ready for another such video coming up in a while. I believe that the next video we put out will be “Global Awesome,” obviously in honor of Earth Day next weekend.
This week’s Sunday Morning Reading comes on a Monday because that’s how life is sometimes. Additionally, I’m moving tomorrow, so it’s just one article. That just goes to show you that I respect you so much that I would never try to pass off just some crap I found on the Internet as riveting. If it’s good, I post it, and if I’m lazy, I don’t. So there it is. And here this is:
NYT goes two pages on heckling and a movie called “Heckler.” It’s a pretty good read and I think pretty accurate. I’m looking forward to the film, which the article says debuts at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 26. Included in the story are David Cross, Penn Gillette, Jamie Kennedy and Kathy Griffin. That’d be a weird table at dinner, wouldn’t it?
This isn’t the most outrageous part of the story, but it’s a quote that’s shocking if only because it really illustrates how important this guy thinks he is to everyone else’s experience when out seeing comedy:
“I would never go somewhere intentionally to be a jackass,” Mr. Patrick, 22, said. But Mr. Kennedy’s flatulence jokes were unworthy of what he considers “good” comedy, he said, and live settings are the perfect forum to censure unsatisfactory performers. “It’s kind of a cool opportunity to tell them how terrible they are,” Mr. Patrick said.
I’m not primarily a fart joke man, myself, but I think I’d have the sense to just split or not see Jamie Kennedy a second time rather than taking it upon myself to tell him “how terrible” he was. Some people like him, dude. He’s making a living. That’s part of the deal. (Via Gothamist.)
OK, this is the post where I admit I’m a fool. A buffoon. Whatever you like. When I leave Boulder for New York City, these are a few (and only a few) of the things I’m leaving behind.
Telling Stories
This is an essay-and-music series at the Laughing Goat, a coffeehouse on Pearl Street. The series is the brainchild of my friend and colleague, Jennie Dorris. I met Jennie working my first job out of college, a newspaper called dirt. dirt was doomed by its own awesomeness. Everyone who worked there was totally fantastic and I’m always telling stories about the fantastic times I had working there.
I first saw Jennie’s music series when it was hosted at the Boulder International Hostel. It’s grown quite a bit since then (and now Liz Dinwiddie, another musician extraordinaire is co-producing), but still has a wonderfully intimate feel. Here’s a clip of Ms. Dorris playing one of the first pieces I ever saw her play on marimba. It’s called “Michi.”
Very funny comedians
I could only find one video on YouTube, but there are some really great people telling jokes around here, including Ben Kronberg (see video below), Greg Baumhauer, Adam Cayton-Holland, Andrew Orvedahl… all these jokers and more. Many came to perform at my last show in Boulder, which turned out to be a really nice night. So if you’re in Colorado, see them now. If you’re not, you’ll see them soon one way or another.
