Sometimes I’ll read spam emails that make it through various filters and blockers and whatever has been set up by people much smarter than me. I feel like I owe it to those few emails that find their way to me. Here’s my new favorite:

Hi Column!.

So they’re familiar with my work….

I’m Mr. Alexandr Czajkowsky, Director of Consulting company “Grand Consult” is specialized in rendering complex professional consulting services in teh ield of business and management: business plans development, marketing research, budgeting, law consulting, personnel recruiting and personnel-technologies. e located in Poland and have offices in Germany, Latvia and Ukraine.

OK, so far it sounds like I might not be qualified.

We are hiring serious people

Not looking good…

from all over the USA/Europe who would like to work and earn an additional income from theri home. We seek a Representative Agent in your city or state.

And just how did they know that I live in a city or state somewhere in the USA or Europe? Maybe it’s worth reading on.

So to this end we seek the assistance of individual or a group to work with us and earn additional money WITHOUT DISTURBING YOUR PRESENT JOB IF ANY!!!

Whoa! They totally nailed me!”IF ANY!!!” describes my current employment situation exactly.

If you are interested in transacting business with us we will be glad.

Dude, you and me both. Income at home without disturbing what I’m already not doing? I’m gonna transact the shit out of your business and gladness will flood our joined beings like water in a flood basin during a flood.

Please contact us for omre information with you data - !!! [email address deleted] !!! ONLY THIS MAIL

1. Your name
2. Your country
3. Your age
4. Your phone#

SINCERELY,
MR. Donovan Wu

Wait, what? Who the hell are you? Who the hell is this Wu guy? Pretty freakin’ pushy. What the hell did you do with Mr. Czajkowsky? We were hitting it off. We had something. Remember the flood? OK, Wu, how the hell did you get in here?

PS
On a question ” Wheer you have my email? ” - we have paid services of advertising for delivery of this letter to many emails.

Oh, that’s wheer they have my email.