OK, so Al Gore III just pled guilty after having been nicked for speeding in a Prius and posessing drugs. Quick, where are the snappy headlines sure to delight the right? Bring ‘em! Post ‘em!

• Not looking for a recount: Gore III pleads guilty
• Like father, like son; Gore III favors high-brids!
• An inconvenient doob
• “I said ‘lockbox,’ not ‘hotbox’”
• I invented the ganjernet

Oh, I’m tired of this.

Technorati tags: [ gore | weed | hybrid | crime | republican | democrat | election | dumbass news ]

Ms. Jennie Dorris alerted me to news about news today — the Associated Press’ youth-targeted service, “asap,” is closing shop.

Now, I’m 24. I live in New York City. I have an iPod. If you look up “hip” in the AP style guide, that’s pretty much the definition. So let me give it to you straight. I have the absolute best ideas on how to capture the youth market. Like me, the rest of the youth market is just slouching with wealth; there’s all this money that is trying as hard as it can to find its way out of our pockets, but we just don’t understand the old way of advertising and writing. It’s, like, too many words.

So here are the pitches (news nerd stuff below): Read the rest of this entry »