I don’t think I could smack my forehead hard enough for this story about an artist attempting to “attack” the cruise ship Queen Mary 2 with his small, wooden, spherical submersible.

“I’m not really a very technical kind of guy,” he said, sitting shirtless on the pier Thursday with various green things still clinging to his arms from the water. “I just guessed a lot on this.” Asked how he planned to get back to shore after the tide carried him out to the cruise ship, he grinned. “I haven’t really thought about that yet,” he said.

Look. Sometimes artists have ideas. Other times, they have various green things clinging to them. I think the idea of attempting to “attack” something with a small, wooden, spherical submersible is pretty funny, but the Queen Mary 2? Who cares? You might as well try to hide out in a swimming pool. Not as sneaky, but much bigger impact.

Plus, the story pretty much breaks down how inept the whole operation was. Oh, artists. Sometimes, you’re amazing and other times you’re just dudes butchering “Video Killed the Radio Star” on the theremin.

What? Oh, yes. Video, too: