Cuban President Fidel Castro wrote an opinion column this week mentioning “the seemingly invincible ticket that might be created with Hillary for president and Obama for vice president.” And Fidel’s the expert on invincibility: I have never once seen that guy without a cigar and I have never once seen him dead from smoking lots of cigars.

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Because I’m from Colorado, I’m one of very few folks out in NYC who know anything about Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo. A lot of what he has to say is about immigration, but he’s kind of branching out now, which you have to do as a presidential candidate. So, for example, he’s made an interesting policy choice in telling New Orleans to go f— itself. While all of the news outlets are busy reporting sob stories about how post-Katrina New Orleans is still a mess and just as unprepared as pre-Katrina New Orleans, Tancredo says, “You know? How about I don’t care? How about that?”

Dude is a tactical brillius (obviously a combination of the words brilliant and genius). When all the candidates are talking about infrastructure in the wake of like, just a few deaths and catastrophes, Tommy Tank Tancredo is all about the greenbacks. Yo, we need that money so we can institutionalize racism and drop bombs of hatred. That stuff doesn’t pay for itself. So. It’s not like he’s a one-issue guy.